Stress!

stress commands my every word
anger grows
as hatred stirs
i'm not mean i'll tell myself
though my heart is beating something else

Stress commands my every move
it grips my throat
and scraps the wounds
I'm not cruel I repeat to myself
Though my hands are doing something else

Stress commands my every thought
weary voices
fill my thoughts
I'm not lost my inner lier screams
though my actions lead me to assume other things

Sunday!

Well sunday usually an amazingly long and boring day except for church around 11:45, but besides that remains an unnecessary part of my week and still in a way I cherish it as my last moments of relaxation b4 I begin another one of my very drama filled........ petty weeks like every other. but this sunday after not being able to go to church because everyone in my house waS SICK ........ I sat up in my room in a depressid state....... O_o SUDDENLY !!!!!! *gasp* 8D *IM MESSAGE*
Brandon: What r u doin today?
Devon: nofin y??!!??!!??!!
Brandon*pauses before posting a response* wanna go to the movies?
Devon: sure .... When? were? stuff like that?
Brandon: 6:30 Santan mall
Devon: what movie?
Brandon: *another long pause* Coraline
Devon:*shrieks w/ excitement* ok i'll go ask
Brandon: kk
(I ran down stairs and waited a couple seconds as i stood next to my mom on the opposite couch from my dad waiting for a very opportune moment to ask ..... knowing that they were sick and there was a huge possibility they would refuse with a passion :/! )
Devon: Hey momma brandon wants to know if I can go see coraline w/ him tonight?!?!?!?!?
Mom: Sure ya! but u better get me a starbucks!
Mom: Dad do u have a problem if dev goes to watch Coraline w/ Brandon tonight??!?!??!?!?!?!?1
(moment of epic fail or supreme victory :/)
dad: sure and i want a starbucks 2:P
Devon: *omg! running up the stairs
(gets back on the computer)
Devon: YES! i can go
Devon: ok?
Brandon: cool
( devon gets ready )
Brandon comes to pick me up and i have a bomb time the most epic ever I loved the movie and everything was perfect! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I thank my parents for letting me go ! ( I love my parents they're sooo good to me)

Dance Report!!!

Ok the dance was amazing .... TERRIFIC! 8D and everything was perfect <3>I know this isn't as long as other posts but I'm kinda tired sooooo my fwago is wearing out :p for the day :/
LUV YA ALL PPLS!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I promise I'll come bac and add more detail

retardation...... Dance Dance!

It's possible that stupidity is a disease and I think I caught it today O_o

 typical girlie teenager shit *drama*

jealousy..... WORRYING over nothing :/

It took a friend who cares to tell me all the amazing things I could already see 

for me to realize I already know how much it rocks my sox 

Now I'm just happy to be me!

I feel retarded though thinking all the stupid things I did

For doubting based on little changes that scare me

And not taking a few seconds to soak in everything that was really going on

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

WE INTERUPT YOUR SCHEDULED PROGRAMING TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN:

✯Dance Dance ....... Dance Dance ........ Dance Dance...... Dance Dance........... ✯

Soooo The dance is this saturday our school is gay sooooo they call The Sadie Hawkins Dance.... MORP.... Thus leaving both genders very awkwardly confused as to who is asking who to this grand event of epic teenage proportions... I would blame myself if I were the "Dance Planning Commitee" for no one showing up :p.....they all stayed home to sulk in their confusion .... and 20 years from now will still wonder "Who was fukin supposed to ask who?" in rage as they scream at the sky.... (not rlly that was only dramatic emphasis) 

The point is that I knew about the dance and didn't say anything for like 2 weeks to my "Dude Man" cus I assumed in my own stupidity that we were going together :/ Since we're going out and all...... BUT I was wrong to assume.......cus for some reason He wasn't saying anything about the dance either.... Me in a state of worry began to process the following options:

1. He isn't aware that there is a dance coming up shortly:/

2.He does know of the dance and doesn't want to go 

3.He does know there is a dance and doesn't want to go WITH ME!

4.He really didn't like the Winter Formal when we went together

5. He's busy

6. He's a Ninja

But never on this list did it cross my mind that he was waiting for me to ask him to the dance @_@......... WTF?!?!?!??! 

THANK YOU "DANCE PLANNING COMMITTEE" !!!!!!!!!!! 

I almost missed this fucking dance because I would have been like the many victims of "Who/the/what/the/fuck Syndrome" ***0_o**** not knowing that I as a girl was supposed to ask my boyfriend..... And in the end I looked Like a REEE-TAR-D! 

Sooo eventually I cleverly and covertly asked what his plans were for the 21st.... soo that he wouldn't figure out that I just figured out that I was supposed to ask him out..... @_@!.............

After a awkward conversation ... that half way through I figured out that "Dude Man" knew from the beginning what I was trying to ask... I finally just came to my point and "Dude Man" responds with "Finally i was waiting for you to bring it up!"

OMG! WTF?!?!??!?!?! NOW I FEEL EPICALLY STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

i must really suck ass as a girlfriend....... They have awards for this level of retardation right??? @_@

Anyways I'm looking forward to the dance :) ........ Saturday :) if everything works out how it should.